The Leadership Superpower You’re Overlooking: The Art of Asking Better Questions

I’m HBR senior editor and producer Amanda Kersey.

One of many easiest methods to strengthen your management is to ask higher questions. They’ll open up info you’d in any other case miss, construct belief, and even make you extra persuasive. However most of us don’t ask sufficient; and after we do, we don’t at all times ask them in the best manner.

On this IdeaCast episode from 2018, host Sarah Inexperienced Carmichael talks with Harvard Enterprise College professors Leslie John and Alison Wooden Brooks. Their analysis reveals how considerate questions—whether or not open-ended, pointed, or follow-ups—can change the way you’re seen as a pacesetter and colleague.

Right here’s Sarah.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: Leslie, thanks a lot for becoming a member of us at the moment.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: Thanks for having me.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: And Alison, thanks for coming again.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: I’m so pleased to be again.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: So, let’s simply begin by speaking about what’s the profit to asking good questions in enterprise.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Truly, the higher query is perhaps, what’s the advantage of asking questions in enterprise? As a result of the advantages are so ample. Um, let me begin just by saying that most individuals don’t ask sufficient questions they usually’re lacking out on many, many advantages, together with that asking questions opens up the door for the change of knowledge. Once I ask you questions, I’m going to, you’re going to reply most certainly and I’m going to be taught what’s in your thoughts. In order that’s info change, it’s very invaluable. Along with info change, we all know that asking questions will increase interpersonal liking as a result of I’m displaying that I’m fascinated with studying and what’s in your thoughts, I appear very attentive to you and empathic and I’m taking your perspective, and I care about you. And that’s likable. Uh, we additionally know that asking questions will increase persuasion, uh, once more, as a result of I’m taking your perspective, as a substitute of attempting to promote, promote, promote, I’m studying what you want after which I can ship that to you.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: A lot of advantages.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: However one of many I feel actually fascinating insights of Alison’s analysis on this matter is that individuals don’t admire this. So, it’s not apparent to us, we don’t, we don’t—we actually underestimate the worth and the facility of questions.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Yeah. Even individuals in conversations are conscious of what number of questions they’ve requested and what number of questions different individuals have requested, however they don’t intuit the hyperlink between query asking, and liking, persuasion, and data change. It’s simply not apparent, which is a part of the rationale that we most likely don’t ask sufficient questions. We don’t perceive the ample advantages that await us.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: It does shock me to listen to you say that individuals don’t someway perceive the hyperlink between asking questions and turning into extra likable as a result of that’s like a number of the relationship recommendation that you’ll at all times get proper, is, ask a number of questions. I did this after I had unsuccessful on-line relationship, um, a few years in the past. I’d be like, I’m going to make it some extent of asking a number of questions as a result of I feel, , that’s how I’m going to get date quantity two. No! No dates quantity two. It actually… I don’t know what I used to be doing unsuitable—one thing!

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: I feel there’s, um, like doubtlessly an attention-grabbing irony right here in that whenever you really need one thing, like, for instance, a relationship context, for those who go into a primary date, and also you’re actually drawn to the individual, I feel instinctively we type of go into this “promote mode,” this mode of, like, we have to inform them stuff about ourselves to make them like us. However I feel that in some ways, and the analysis factors to this, that that is type of a flawed psychological mannequin. The place, truly, if we get them speaking, they’re going to love us extra due to the purpose of Alison, certainly one of her findings, that individuals simply don’t understand that we expect we’re type of possibly too self-focused in all of this.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: So, what are a number of the questions you guys have discovered which might be actually efficient?

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: So, in conditions the place somebody could also be tempted to mislead you, for those who ask a query that presupposes the factor that they don’t need to inform you to be true, that’s a simpler technique to getting them to inform you the reality than a query that does the alternative. So, an instance can be, think about your, that is actually easy, think about you’re speaking to a provider and also you’re questioning whether or not the provider goes to ship on time. Um, so the delicate piece of knowledge that the provider could also be reticent to reveal is that no, we’re not going to be on time. So, you might ask them, you might say you’re going to be on time, proper? That’s type of an optimistic assumption, or you might say, I’m guessing you is perhaps type of late, proper? And that will be a pessimistic assumption. So, it’s simpler for the provider to inform the reality whenever you ask it in a pessimistic manner as a result of they simply need to type of verify one thing. Whereas for those who ask them within the optimistic manner, it’s tougher for the provider to confess to that factor. Um, so that they need to contradict you. They’d need to be like, truly, we’re going to jot down. The essential level is that you simply need to make it straightforward for the opposite get together in these aggressive conditions. You need to make it straightforward for them to inform you the factor that’s onerous for them to inform you. And so, you’ll be able to take into consideration the way you construction your questions in a manner in order that it helps them to reveal primarily.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: What a couple of kind of variations between open-ended questions versus closed questions as a result of often in my job as an interviewer, I attempt to ask a number of open-ended questions, however are there conditions the place these are usually not as efficient as a kind of tighter, closed query?

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Yeah, so it is determined by your targets. And I feel for those who’re interviewing anyone otherwise you’re attempting to brainstorm or work out what their pursuits are, asking open-ended questions, the way in which they reply these questions can be indicative of what’s on their minds, proper? You’re giving them an extended leash to resolve like, how am I going to reply this? Now, for those who shift to a extra aggressive dialog the place individuals can be guarded in regards to the info they’ve, then pointed questions will be very efficient at attempting to suss out the reality. It’s, it’s very onerous to lie explicitly to somebody’s face after I say, okay, you’re promoting me this used iPod hasn’t been broken previously. It’s a lot tougher to say no. Proper, proper to my face with a sure, no query. Then if I say, inform me in regards to the historical past of this iPod. Then you’ll be able to lie by omission fairly simply. Um, one other kind of query that I need to make the case for that’s so magical and highly effective because the follow-up query. So right here we’re speaking about very particular examples and eventualities the place sure sorts of questions can be good. Comply with up questions are nearly at all times good. Okay. They present that you simply’re listening to what the individual has already mentioned. You’re probing for extra info, which reveals that you simply listened, you care, and also you need to know extra, which is like the entire embodiment of empathy and perspective taking. So, you appear to be a really caring individual and also you’re good since you’re going to be taught extra info. It’s like all the good issues wrapped up into one question-asking technique.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: I feel we’re now realizing why I didn’t get any second dates. I feel I used to be not asking follow-up questions, I used to be merely asking like a random listing of questions. Okay. So, why is the follow-up query—I’ll attempt to ask a follow-up query about follow-up questions. Why are follow-up questions a lot extra highly effective than different kinds of questions?

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: So, the questions that aren’t follow-up questions, we might classify:  they’re both an introductory query, so like, hello, how are you? Or rhetorical questions that don’t even actually demand a response. However more often than not questions which might be observe up questions are topic-switching questions. So, I would say issues like, the place are you from? Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention, pay attention. Do you just like the band U2? Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention, pay attention. So, it feels such as you’re working your manner down the listing of matters, which is okay, however it might be way more participating and attention-grabbing to say, the place are you from? Oh, I’ve been to Tuscaloosa. Do you reside on this neighborhood? I had a good friend who was from there have been, , the place did you develop up? What have been your dad and mom like? What did your home seem like? What do you remorse about rising up there? All types of follow-up questions that make it actually participating. Nearly all of our, um, results of query asking are defined by the facility of follow-up questions.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: It feels like a whole lot of this recommendation is kind of context dependent. So, when you’ve got an adversarial relationship the place you suppose that the individual would possibly mislead you, you could take a distinct strategy. What for those who’re not precisely positive the place you stand with somebody that possibly you’re employed collectively, however not at all times very effectively and also you’re unsure if this individual is a good friend or an enemy or like a frenemy.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: You sound such as you’re speaking from expertise, Sarah, they usually’re going to get nervous.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: I feel we’ve all had relationships, particularly at work, the place we’re not precisely positive the place we stand.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: No, I feel we’ve nearly constructed this false dichotomy the place we presume that everybody is aware of you’re in a cooperative dialog or a aggressive one—

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: And that every is one or the opposite.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Proper? And actually, most conversations are combined targets. You have got a cooperative aim to have enjoyable and luxuriate in your interactions with others. Often, there’s some kind of battle aim even amongst managers and their direct stories. If you must give suggestions, constructive suggestions, for those who if you must consider efficiency, if you must negotiate a wage. And oftentimes you don’t actually know what’s the mixture of cooperative and aggressive targets on this interplay that we’re in proper now. So, your query is an effective one. How can we navigate this? Um, I’ll argue that in nearly each state of affairs, whether or not it’s cooperative or aggressive, asking questions doesn’t harm. It hurts lots lower than individuals suppose. So, we’re very reticent to ask questions as a result of we’re afraid that we’re going to ask one thing that’s impolite or incompetent or inappropriate and, in our outcomes, and our findings, we discover that there are only a few questions that individuals understand as impolite, incompetent or inappropriate, um, and so, after which particularly follow-up questions. So simply begin someplace, take heed to their reply, after which observe up. And that may work in nearly any state of affairs.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: When is it higher to ask the powerful query first? Resist kind of warming somebody as much as it after which constructing up to date whenever you ask what you actually need to ask them.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: Yeah. So, there’s certainly one of my favourite, uh, items of analysis is, um, this Arthur Aron’s work, it’s a traditional on how he and his coauthors introduced individuals into the lab, they usually acquired individuals to ask questions to one another. And so they instructed the dyad—so that they, they put individuals into little teams of two, they didn’t know one another earlier than the research—they usually acquired every group of two to ask one another questions they usually began with type of the most secure questions, the much less disclosing questions first, after which they steadily acquired into type of deeper and deeper questions like what’s your greatest remorse in life? And actually type of hefty stuff. And um, they, they discovered that relative to manage conditions that getting individuals to ask questions to one another and to share on this manner of like elevated revelation produced liking amongst these dyads. However then as a counterpoint, we’ve got some analysis the place we requested individuals questions. Now these have been various kinds of questions. These have been very direct questions. Um, and we systematically diverse the order by which we requested individuals the questions. So, some individuals began with type of the best questions first they usually acquired progressively tougher. Different individuals, we began with the toughest questions first they usually acquired progressively simpler. After which we had one other model the place individuals have been simply requested in type of a random order. And in distinction to what Aron discovered, we truly discovered that individuals disclosed extra. Um, whenever you began with essentially the most delicate questions. My conclusion or one conclusion is that you simply kind of heat up and begin with the straightforward questions and then you definately steadily construct rapport. However we discovered that the alternative can result in extra revelation. And so, you concentrate on, effectively, how do you, how do you sq. away these two completely different findings? And a technique that we’ve got been fascinated with it comes all the way down to this aim of the interplay. So, for those who’re in a, if the aim is to foster a relationship and if it’s a really cooperative surroundings, then beginning with easing your manner into issues I feel is conducive to carrying out that aim. But when alternatively, the aim is a aggressive state of affairs the place the aim is info elicitation, then beginning with essentially the most delicate questions can elevated disclosure total. It’s once more although not with out its dangers, like if the primary query you ask is extraordinarily delicate, you danger actually offending the individual and having them stroll away from you. So not with out its dangers however—

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: And there’s lots happening with tone too, proper? Speak to us slightly bit about kind of the way to ask these questions, not simply what you ask.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: Nicely, we’ve discovered that particularly whenever you’re asking for delicate query are type of inclination is perhaps that we should always undertake a really somber tone and we should always actually reiterate to the individual that all the things’s confidential, don’t fear, it’s going to be okay, no matter you say. However what we discovered is that generally the extra assurances we give to individuals, the extra worrisome it’s for that individual to reveal. And so, what we discover is that for those who’re slightly extra informal about it and nonchalant about the way in which you ask questions, that may make the opposite get together extra comfy responding. I’m responding to your questions.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: What are a number of the methods by which the dynamics are completely different whenever you’re in a bunch versus whenever you’re simply interviewing or speaking with somebody one-on-one.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Conversational dynamics modified profoundly when the group will get bigger and query asking dynamics change specifically. Um, it is determined by the composition of the group. Are there males, ladies? What are their ages? Who’s the chief? What are their standing relationships? There are norms round all of this stuff about who needs to be asking questions, who’s anticipated to ask questions and who’s anticipated to reply them. And anytime that you may break these norms—so for those who’re anticipated to reply questions, why not strive asking one as a substitute? Anytime you’ll be able to break these norms, I feel it retains issues participating and attention-grabbing.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: It additionally introduces a bunch of issues, potential issues. When you consider an vital aim of asking and answering questions is, in fact, info sharing. And after I consider, um, group contexts, you will have new dangers together with the loudest voices are those which might be heard. Or the individuals, put in another way, the individuals which might be most comfy talking up in teams are those that say issues. However your consolation in talking up in teams is unrelated to the—oftentimes I’d enterprise to say—is unrelated as to if you will have good issues to say. And so, for those who’re attempting to get numerous views, um, clever issues mentioned it may be a fear in group contexts, is that sort of some dominating personalities find yourself doing all of the speaking. And so they might have good issues to say, however it might even be to the neglect of listening to from individuals who even have good and numerous further factors to contribute.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: One factor we see with our college students lots—and I feel this occurs in a whole lot of work contexts as effectively, and Leslie and I are each younger ladies college members—um, that sure members of the group, and this occurs with ladies and I feel simply younger individuals broadly, or possibly low-status individuals, really feel like they should have one thing actually nice to say, like they should have a superb assertion to make with the intention to communicate up and say one thing in a bunch context. Seems that it’s actually, actually helpful to simply be the one who asks questions which may open a brand new vital matter space or information the dialog in a helpful manner.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: So, in case you are placed on the spot by somebody’s query, um, what’s a type of a great way to arrange for that? As a result of on the one hand, we’re giving recommendation to managers to assist them ask extra inquiries to get extra info and be extra likable. That sounds nice. But when managers take heed to this and return to their places of work in are all of the sudden like asking 1,000,000 questions, what ought to their groups learn about type of this new speaking with them?

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: They’re going to love them higher, so possibly it doesn’t matter! No, I take into consideration this lots. In any state of affairs, there are questions that you simply hope nobody asks you as a result of it can make you’re feeling actually nervous and actually uncomfortable on the spot. Lots of these questions will be anticipated. Nearly at all times they are often anticipated. You simply need to ask your self like, what are the issues somebody may ask me that may hold me up at night time, that may make me really feel terrible and write them down. Proper? So, when you’ve got an vital presentation and vital assembly and there are questions that you simply’re afraid somebody will ask, don’t run away from that. Confront it, write them down, write down pithy, succinct responses to them. Observe saying the solutions out loud or observe your dodges out loud. For any query that you might presumably get, there’s a strategy to reply it and there’s a strategy to dodge it. So simply not being stunned and caught off guard is a big assist in these moments.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: I completely agree. Preparation is so vital. And, and likewise the act of preparation, the self-reflection, I feel you’ll be able to be taught lots about your self and in regards to the state of affairs simply by doing that, that preparation. For what it’s value, my favourite go-to of after I gasp, haven’t ready or don’t know what I’m going to say, and I’m requested a query and I don’t know what to say, my favourite line of protection is deflection by query. Asking, effectively why do you ask?

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: What do you suppose?

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: Yeah. What do you suppose? Or at school does all people suppose this? You already know, deflection by query I feel is… at any time when, at any time when I’m in a bind in that, in that, , being requested a query that I don’t know the way to reply. It’s type of back-pocket, go-to technique.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: I’ll say two extra fast methods. One is for those who can observe your humor abilities, jokes are actually, very easy strategy to dodge issues as a result of persons are so distracted laughing that they overlook what query was requested them that you simply didn’t reply it. Uh, and the second factor is used sparingly, it’s okay to be sincere that you simply don’t know a solution. Um, and I feel a whole lot of professors truly overlook this and managers as effectively. Um, it’s okay to disclose that you simply’re not superhuman and have all of the solutions on the planet, so used sparingly, it will possibly truly be very, um, humble, an amazing humility technique to say like, wow, that’s an amazing query. I truly hadn’t considered that earlier than. Let me return to my workforce. Let me return to my workplace and mirror about it and I’ll get again to you later at the moment.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: One factor to not do is type of explicitly choose out of answering. So, on a survey that will be, , checking the, “I select to not reply” field. However in a dialog, if somebody asks you a pointed query, you don’t reply it’s, is saying I don’t need to reply that or ultimately conspicuously not answering the query. So, we’ve discovered that that technique is definitely worse than saying one thing actually unflattering about your self. Um, so it’s truly higher for those who’re confronted with a query the place for those who reply it in truth, it would reveal some unglamorous reality about your self, we discover that for those who simply come clear and reply it, you’ll come off higher. Individuals will such as you extra. They’ll suppose you extra reliable relative to for those who fully choose out of answering, for those who conspicuously abstain from answering.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: So, for those who’re in a job interview and somebody’s like, effectively I see you left your final job after solely working there a month, what’s happening?

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: I don’t need to discuss it.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: Proper. That’s like a giant waving pink flag. So simply give you one thing to say in that second is what you’re saying.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Yeah.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: Nicely, is there something that we actually ought to have coated that we haven’t coated?

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: That’s an amazing query. That’s a very good query.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: A really open-ended one.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Sure.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: Um, I feel one factor that’s been beneath the floor of this complete dialog is the significance of listening. Listening allows you—being listener lets you each ask questions successfully and reply questions successfully. And one of many methods I used to be pondering of that enjoying out is whenever you requested what occurs for those who ask a query that you simply don’t need to know the reply to or that you simply don’t care to know the reply to, a danger of that’s you’re going to close your self off and possibly not pay attention. After which for those who don’t pay attention, you’re not opening your self as much as studying extra and in flip, asking higher questions and answering questions extra successfully.

SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: Nicely, thanks each once more for coming in. This was actually enjoyable.

ALISON WOOD BROOKS: Thanks a lot for having us.

LESLIE Ok. JOHN: Thanks for having us.

AMANDA KERSEY: That was Harvard Enterprise College professors Leslie John and Alison Wooden Brooks talking with IdeaCast host Sarah Inexperienced Carmichael. Yow will discover their HBR article, “The Shocking Energy of Questions,” at HBR.org.

HBR On Management can be again subsequent Wednesday with one other hand-picked dialog from Harvard Enterprise Assessment. If this episode helped you, share it with your pals and colleagues, and observe the present on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you take heed to podcasts. Whilst you’re there, contemplate leaving us a assessment.

Whenever you’re prepared for extra podcasts, articles, case research, books, and movies with the world’s prime enterprise and administration consultants, discover all of it at HBR.org.

This episode was produced by Curt Nickisch and me, Amanda Kersey. On Management’s workforce contains Maureen Hoch, Rob Eckhardt, Erica Truxler, Ramsey Khabbaz, Nicole Smith, and Anne Bartholomew.

Music by Coma Media. Thanks for listening.